Knocked Up

My husband's coworker sent him home today with the movie "Knocked Up" for us to watch. I don't know why she felt the need to share a movie with us about a woman who gets pregnant during a one-night stand with a man she can barely tolerate – but I'm not sure I want to watch it again. I saw it when it came out on HBO. J was at work, and I figured it was a chick flick and didn't anticipate him ever wanting to watch it. I didn't particularly care for it, to be honest. And I can't for the life of me figure out why this woman loaned it to us.

Now, I know the coworker – both socially and professionally – and I'm sure she knows we're hoping to get pregnant sometime in the near future. By the way, she got knocked up – by surprise – at age 40. Who knows? Maybe I'm reading too much into it. She probably liked the movie and thought we would enjoy it. 

And any other day of the month, I probably wouldn't have thought twice about it. But I'm pretty sure we're out of the running for this month – no early Christmas present for us this year. And somehow I'm looking more forward to a nice glass of wine tonight than a movie about an 'oops' pregnancy. Because I, for one, am not...

I have Wii arm

My husband and I decided to buy a Wii this Christmas as our gift to each other. I want Wii Fit, he wants the Star Wars Lightsaber game. I want to do yoga, he wants to battle the Dark Lord of the Sith. Whatever the end use, I'm excited to get a video game system that requires at least some mobility. As much as I love our Playstation, the most exercise we get with it is a mean world tour on Rock Band.

So, we got it two nights ago. They are in scarce supply, so when my husband found one, he snatched it up. Of course, being the extraordinarily patient people that we are, we had it unpacked and ready to go by the time we were done with dinner. Fortunately the system comes with a collection of sports games, so in a matter of minutes we had created our Miis (personalized avatars that participate in the games on your behalf) and were bowling. And playing tennis. And baseball. Golf. I even boxed, for crying out loud.

Unfortunately our dog is less than thrilled with the new addition to the family. This mellow creature that seldom barks (not even a peep when someone rings the doorbell) began barking violently at us every time we sent a bowling ball hurtling down the alley. We repeatedly tried to get her to chill out and lay down, but it wasn't until she reared into my backswing and got her head clocked with the controller that she decided to leave the room. (Don't feel bad for her. She's run into sliding glass doors at full tilt and it barely fazed her.)

Anyway, we had a great night breaking in our new Wii. The only problem is, I can now barely move my right arm. I guess that's a good sign, in that I actually used muscles while playing a video game. Hopefully when I get Wii Fit I'll actually work out some useful muscles – because at this rate, all I'm gonna have a right bicep that Mike Tyson would be jealous of.

But I bet I'll also swing a mean light saber.

My High Holy Day

It's official. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year. 

This year we had twenty people for dinner, including my stepdaughter who flies over a thousand miles to be here, my parents, my big brother, my mother-in-law and Granny-in-law. The other twelve people at our table(s) were friends who are quickly coming to think of Thanksgiving at our house as a tradition. Ranging in age from 26 to 80-something, it's a diverse, lovely crowd of terribly fun people.

Every year we host, I learn a few new things. Here are the things I learned as a result of Thanksgiving 2008:

• 15 pounds of potatoes is too much for twenty people. Even if you want leftovers.

• Brining a turkey is a lot of work, and I didn't notice a difference in juiciness. It did cook faster, which was nice.

• Putting a turkey in the oven upside down for the first 1 1/2 hours will make the breast tender and moist. (And if you play it off right, no one will know it was an accident.)

• I am never going to use my husband's good Wusthof knife again. I've now used it twice and cut myself both times. This time I managed to chop a carrot the size of a small log, wash the knife, and then cut myself drying it.

• Watching my parents play Rock Band with my stepdaughter was the funniest thing I've ever seen.

I'm already looking forward to next year.

Messing with tradition?

I'm contemplating a huge life change. 

This will be my third year hosting Thanksgiving in my home, and probably the tenth year I've been the "head chef." We stick with the basics for the most part – mashed potatoes, stuffing, green beans, peas, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, turkey, gravy, rolls. Other people inevitably join us and bring their own family favorites, which is wonderful. I, however, don't generally deviate too far from our traditional meal.

This year, however, I'm seriously considering a huge change to our holiday menu.

I contemplating making macaroni and cheese as well. 

Of course I'm not talking about the artificial food-like substance that comes out of the blue box. Pretty much everything that comes out of our kitchen is made from scratch, and my macaroni and cheese is no exception. I just can't wrap my head around whether or not it deserves a place at Thanksgiving dinner. I know it's considered something of a lowly dish by some, but I really, really love its cheesy, melty goodness. (The best part? That area around the top edge of the dish where the cheese gets golden brown and slightly crunchy.)

What do you think? Blasphemy or heaven? I need some outside opinions.

They had it in red.

So, I splurged. And I couldn't be happier. When picking it out, my husband politely pointed out that all of our major appliances (and most of the small) are black and stainless. But I wanted red. And lucky for me, he loves me enough to indulge me in such matters. Thanks, J!

Oh, and I had a request to share a photo of my monkey chandelier. I found it on a trip to Key West with some girlfriends years ago. Everyone came back from souvenir shopping with tee shirts and hats. I came back with this. What can I say? I really like monkeys.

Buying in Bulk

I have a hot date tonight. My husband is taking me to Sam's Club. Now, I won't set foot in a Walmart to save my life, but there's something about Sam's that makes me giddy. It's a good thing we have lots of closets, because I secretly love to buy things in bulk. What fun is a single-serve Febreeze when you can buy the two pack AND a refill bottle all shrink wrapped together? 12 tiny cans of mushrooms all in one tidy package? Enough Hefty cups to last through three summers of barbecues? So many Ziplocs at one time you will have forgotten how to buy them when you need them again?

Before my tree-hugger friends get on me for buying things like Hefty cups and Ziplocs, I'd like to make a few points:

1) Hefty cups can be recycled. And we do.

2) I've been known to reuse Ziplocs if it's sanitary. 

3) I take my reusable grocery bags to Sam's with me.

4) Buying in bulk saves gas and carbon emissions. 

5) Okay, now I'm just making things up to justify my Sam's addiction.

I appreciate how the thoughful merchandisers put the gigantic, expensive televisions and electronics right by the entrance. Once I've "saved" us $1200 by not buying a large-screen plasma right off the bat, the $300 worth of stuff I walk out of the store with seems like an absolute bargain.

My puppy Roxy likes it when we go, too because we come home with a six-month supply of Beggin' Strips. That means we don't run out of treats nearly as often and end up giving her something lame like a pickle when we leave the house.

And tonight maybe -- just maybe -- I might get the Kitchen Aid stand mixer I've been coveting for almost two years now. I can't decide if this is really the time of year to splurge on an expensive kitchen gadget for myself. But if they have it in red, I just might have to. 

At least they don't come in two packs.

Why buying a car is like trying to have a baby

Have you ever noticed what happens when you buy a new car? You can spend your entire life driving along happily oblivious to all the screaming yellow MINI Coopers sharing the highways and byways of life with you. But the second you start shopping for one, that's all you see. MINIs at the grocery store. At the movie theatre. In your neighbor's garage four doors down, for crying out loud.

That's exactly what happens when you decide to try to get pregnant. First of all, the entire female population of North America is suddenly waddling around with a baby belly, often behind a stroller containing yet another offspring still in diapers. And for good measure, every female cousin, sister-in-law and sorority sister you have who hasn't previously given birth will suddenly get knocked up and send you an invitation to a baby shower. Or – gasp! – ask you to host it for her.

And then there are the symptoms of a possible pregnancy. Phantom symptoms, as they're called. Sore boobs. Nausea. Cramps. Heightened sense of smell. The list goes on and on, and often includes some rather bizarre claims. Fever blisters? Smelly pee? Sneezing? The irony is, all of these symptoms are part and parcel of living in a female body capable of reproduction. Our hormones fluctuate each month, which causes things like sore boobs. Nausea. And cramps. And even men experience fever blisters and sneezing, and they rarely get pregnant. As for the smelly pee, if you ask my friend Sniffer, that can almost always be attributed to eating asparagus for dinner the night before.

See, that's the thing. These symptoms have been there all along, but you only really start noticing them now that you're shopping for the car. 

What it boils down to is there's simply no foolproof way to know you're pregnant until a pregnancy test tells you you are, in fact, knocked up. (Unless you're one of those oddball cases who go into labor in an airplane bathrooms at 35,000 feet with no previous indication that you are with child. Your first sign of pregnancy might be when a full-term baby falls out of your crotch.) 

So, kick the tires. Take your sister's baby for a test drive. I sincerely hope everyone out there shopping for a baby will get the keys to their brand new "mini" very soon.