Wednesday, June 3, 2009

If and When

I'm trying to figure out exactly when in my trying-to-get-knocked-up process I went from saying, "When we have kids" to saying, "If we have kids."

In all honesty, I guess I still haven't completely transitioned to the second option yet, but the first one has definitely left my vocabulary for good. Apparently I'm at the "If we're lucky enough to have kids" stage right now.

The transition definitely happened before I started having testing done. Somewhere between the one-year mark and the two-year mark.

I am nowhere near giving up hope, but I think at some point when dealing with infertility you also have to be realistic. I am EXTREMELY hopeful that we're going to be able to make a baby. I am willing to go through a lot of expensive (and sometimes painful) treatments to make that happen.

But as optimistic as I am, I have to let a little part of my brain and heart remain realistic. I suppose that's better than letting a big chunk be pessimistic. I'm beginning to think that that's going to be the key to surviving this process. Finding the balance and not letting one overwhelm the other.


Carly said...

((((((( HUGS )))))))) I believe you will be a mother someday Kat. I there was a way to make this process easier or guaranteed

gringa78 said...

Hey Kat- just want to say I understand what you're saying...and I'm thinking of you. ((HUGS))

Mary said...

I think we all have had that feeling at one point or another. I DO know one thing though.... Once way or another, you WILL be a mommy. Of this I am sure.
Love you, hun!

Lyse2143 said...

I think you're doing great. You are realistic yet staying positive. There is nothing more than that you can do, or you will go insane. Thinking of you!

Anonymous said...

I was originally going to post:

*(no comment)*

Then I wanted to remind you of the one time everyone tried to tell me to not be too optimistic: my daughter's birth.

You know how that turned out. We can get through anything.

I love you.