Tuesday, October 20, 2009


My husband and I cocooned all weekend. We did make a mad dash out for some sorely needed groceries, but that was it. We had a nice, long talk on Saturday, and I think it was what we've both needed. We were both processing our recent news separately, and thanks to obnoxious work and rehearsal schedules (we're both working on the Halloween play at the theatre), we simply hadn't had time to sit and really talk together.

As of right now, we're going to look into both donor embryos and domestic adoption. Both have their plusses and minuses (donor embryo is less expensive than donor eggs, but also only has a 20-25% success rate each cycle; adoption can be an expensive, invasive, lengthy process), but we feel like out of our options, these are the best for us moving forward.

I've said all along that a pregnancy was never my end goal; I simply want a child. That being said, having to come to terms with the fact that I will not be able to have a biological child AND the fact that I will never get to experience carrying and giving birth to a child is rough. Hence the donor embryo option; we feel like it's at least worth looking in to.

All that said, I have to thank not one but THREE amazing women who have offered me their eggs should we choose to move forward with a donor egg cycle. I am simply blown away by the generosity and love of a woman willing to share that ultimate gift with me. Some days I just can't wrap my head around that kind of selflessness, and I am beyond honored.

I can't end this post without offering congratulations to two of my fellow IFers who are both celebrating incredible successes. LB and Gringa, I wish you nothing but healthy pregnancies and happy babies. I can't think of two women that deserve this happiness more, and I'm looking forward to being "Auntie Flojat" two more times over!


Amy said...

I really admire your strength through such a difficult time. I'm so sorry you are faced with such difficult choices. ((HUGS))

gringa78 said...

I'm so glad you got to sit down with your H and talk things over. Sometimes having a plan eases some of the anxiety and helps you see things in different ways. I want you to know you are always in my heart.

Anonymous said...

I wish you all the success with what ever route you decide to take. You will be a wonderful mother!

Sarah said...

I'm very thankful you were able to talk with J and come up with a plan going forward. Whatever happens, you will be a fantastic momma and any child is lucky as hell to have you.

Elisa said...

you are an incredibly brave and courageous woman. i love you so much and know deep in my heart that you will become a momma.

Carly said...

awww Kat I admire your strength and wish I could do something. I do know someone who is pg using donor eggs after she had 8 failed ivf's with her own. if you would like me to put you in touch with her she is so nice and open.