I guess Mary was busy

Well, the Hail Mary cycle is officially a bust, so I'm off to my first official IVF appointment in the morning. I won't say I'm not extremely disappointed, but at least I was still in active step-mommy mode when we found out, so I was too busy to wallow in a self-indulgent pity party.

I only hope that if we're lucky enough to have a kid together, we get one that's half as amazing as my step-daughter. At almost fourteen, she's still so respectful, fun and helpful. It was truly a delight to have her for the week, and we already miss her desperately.

Already looking forward to Thanksgiving next year! If all goes well with the IVF stuff, it could be a challenge to host a house full with a newborn. But you know what? That's one challenge I'm more than happy to take on.

Thanksgiving starts tomorrow!

Well, my stepdaughter gets here tomorrow evening, which is the beginning of the Thanksgiving Season in our home. It's been a full year since we've had her for a week's visit in Florida. Entirely too long. The reasons why would completely fill another blog, but let me just say that I will be really happy when the Family Court of a certain midwestern state hears our case and fixes our visitation problems.

We will have a house full of family most of the week, and a huge gathering of family and friends for food and fun on Thursday. Unfortunately, I have to work on Friday. It's the weirdest thing. Our agency owner doesn't give us the day off, but we usually get let go around noon. However, we may have to stay till three or four. We literally don't know until the HR person comes and tells us to go home.

I think the idea is we will opt to take a vacation day, which means we're not getting an extra day off with pay. Thing is, I can't justify losing a day's pay (or burning a vacay day) for what usually amounts to a half day's work.

Sigh. So, once again I will pry myself out of the house on Friday morning while everyone else sleeps in and then enjoys a big breakfast together. The joys of being a modern woman!

What about you? Do you get Thursday off? Friday? How's your Turkey Day shaping up this year?

I guess I should shut my trap and just be thankful I don't work in retail!

The Hail Mary Cycle is in effect

One last try at this the old fashioned way, then on to IVF in a few weeks. It's been so long since I've been in a 2ww, I think I forgot what it felt like!

On a completely unrelated note, did you know that people line up in front of Sam's Club before it opens like they're waiting to get on the newest ride at Disney World? I accidentally showed up 15 minutes before they opened on Sunday and sat my happy butt on a shady bench to wait. I proceeded to watch no fewer than 50 (fifty!) people show up, grab a cart and get in line outside the door.

I've never seen anything like it. Now I know why I don't go shopping on Black Friday.

Random Friday the 13th

I bet there are a bunch of little babies out there coming into the world today. What would it be like to be born on Friday the 13th? I mean, being born on the 13th of any month means you're going to have a considerable number of birthdays falling on a Friday. It wouldn't bother me, I don't think, but did you know (according to Wikipedia, which of course is all-knowing and always right) that an estimated 17 to 21 million people in the U.S. are affected by a fear of this day? For some it's so bad they won't even get out of bed.

And I thought my phobia of spiders was bad!

On the road to IVF

We had our IVF consult this morning. It went really well; the sticker shock has definitely set in, but it wasn't as bad as we thought it might be. Granted, we could be driving around in a nice, expensive two-seater convertible for what this is gonna cost us, but I'd rather be in our regular ol' cars with baby seats strapped in the back.

I have a protocol in hand, but we're verifying that it's the correct one before I spend a lot of time researching it. Basically, the Dr. ordered this protocol based on my bad set of numbers, not the newer, happier set. I want to make sure it's not too aggressive a protocol. I mean, we want one baby – not eight!

I am so grateful for the online communities and friends I have found during this process. It was so nice to be able to sit there and understand everything I was told without having to ask a million questions. Yes, you can show me how to give myself a shot in my stomach. No, you don't have to explain ICSI or assisted hatching.

My favorite part of the appointment was when the IVF nurse handed me this really cheesy presentation with goofy graphics that explains the IVF process. (No, seriously. There was a graphic of a Dr. up on a stepladder holding up a ginormous telescope, looking at an egg in a petrie dish. Really?) She told me we should look through the presentation before we read the technical "novel" they give out on IVF. I pulled out my own copy of the novel that I was given six weeks ago and said, "This novel? Yeah, I've already read it. But aren't these little pictures fun!"

So, we're on our own for this cycle, then will start suppression next cycle. If all goes well, we should be doing our egg retrieval and transfer near the end of the year. This would actually work out well, as I've completely exhausted my vacation and sick days this year. January 1 I get five whole more sick days to blow! Let's hope at least a couple of them are spent sitting around letting an embie or two burrow in for the long haul.

I think I actually have good news!

I'm trying not to get too excited, but it appears I may have beaten the very slim odds my doctor gave me and there's a chance my body is actually rebounding after my surgery.

Let's see, last time I had a doctor's appointment?
1. No antral follicles. (For reference, these are necessary for IVF and an indication of ovarian reserve.)
2. Estrogen level? Off the chart high. (Not a good thing.)
3. FSH level? Unnaturally suppressed by aforementioned estrogen level, so it was useless.
Verdict? Donor egg IVF; no bio child for me, at least.

Today????
1. Antral follicles. On both ovaries. I don't know how many, but the technician saw them immediately, which is great.
2. Estrogen level? 56.9 which is NORMAL. I haven't had a "normal" anything related to TTC in months!
3. FSH level? 10.1 (They like to see this below 10, but what's a .1 between friends?!)
Verdict? IVF with my eggs and J's swimmers may still be a possibility!

I have been told to schedule an IVF consult. I honestly can't believe this is happening. Apparently it may be time to put the seat belt back on and strap back into the race!

Better late than never

So, I promised a post on Friday that I didn't deliver on. And it's not like the screaming masses were knocking down my blogging door, so this one's for you, Shannie.

We did a ghost play called "The Woman in Black" at the theatre for Halloween. I was, in fact, a glorified prop, but it was fun none-the-less. We had four women dressed in identical period dresses to play the ghost (and title character). Because there were four of us, we could be strategically placed throughout the theatre and hit with light at just the right moments to make it look like ONE ghost was appearing in various spots just moments apart. It seemed to work well, as we got plenty of gasps and nervous laughter from the audience.

The really fun part was that the four of us were also responsible for scene changes, but we couldn't do them in our costumes. (Even though the scene changes happen in a near blackout, we couldn't risk the front rows figuring out that the ghosts were up on stage changing the furniture around for the next scene.)

So, we had alter egos that we changed into for the scene changes. Off with the bonnet, dress and gloves and on with a fedora and vest over my stage blacks and I became "Kurt Diligent". At one point I had about twenty seconds to come down out of a balcony, go down three ladders, change clothes and get on stage for the final scene change. Ah, the glamor of live theatre!

My husband did brilliant sound design for the show as well as run the sound board (Thanks, Mr. Buntz!), so it was something that we got to do together. It's been quite some time since we've worked on a show together, so that was nice.

We sold a lot of tickets, made some money for our theatre (which sorely needs it) and spent Halloween weekend doing a ghost play in an already haunted playhouse. Not our typical method of celebrating the macabre holiday, but definitely an interesting one!